i knew. you didn't come to me, but i still knew it.

he saw me beyond my messy hair, my oily pimpled face, my dorky manners and my lack of vanity. at least he made me believe that i had something good in me that no one else had. for the longest time i thought i was too unique, that everyone thought i was a freak. but he didn't mind that. he saw what i have been wanting others to see in me.

i didn't like him much, but i definitely didn't hate him. he was normal, not at all exceptional nor noticeable in any way. i saw him everyday; passed him countless times, and we exchange a few hi's and smiles, and that was it.

he had so many chances to tell me, but he didn't. he tried to speak to me once, but he blew it. and he never tried again. besides, i would have just hurt him if he did. but still, he was the only one who saw me in a different way. very much unlike how everyone else treated me. i just feel sorry i couldn't give him back the kindness he has shown me.

until now, i still wonder why he waited for me. i actually don't think there's anything in me worth waiting for. but then he waited, for not very long though. somehow im glad he finally gave up, i want to save him of all the pain i think i already caused him. i wish i had been kinder to him, known him more. but my time to do that has passed. i know that even if he DID try, i still couldn't accept him; i'll only hurt him more. even if he comes back now, i just won't take him. and i feel bad because im selfish.

he had so many chances to come to me before, but he really didn't take any. they said he was shy. but it's sad that i didn't hear anything from him; someone else told me. well.

i want to see him again, talk to him, or even hug him. i want to say thank you. i want him to know how grateful i am even though i unintentionally hurt him many times. yes, i ignored him. i've been struggling, shouting to the world to look at me beyond what they can see, but he was the only one who listened.

thank you and im sorry. i wish i could see you again.