Drama Queen, For Once.
I was never a drama queen.
When the lives of the people around you contain enough drama to make a soap opera, there is no time to waste adding your own drama to the mix. I don't remember having a crying fit, banging a door or walking out because of anything. Others found it quite strange for me to be calm, sensible and ridiculously compliant when the rest of the teenage population was composed of either happy-go-lucky or excessively emo rebels.
You see, the most stubborn I can go was to make a disappointing decision.
I think there's nothing wrong with being anti-social. You don't accuse someone of being anti-social. It is a choice to avoid displaying unnecessary emotion and friendliness, just like it is a choice to be loud and outgoing. We are not less human and we don't necessarily have low self-esteem.
Isn't it convenient that I haven't said that to anybody's face yet? Just because I don't scream and lash out at anybody, doesn't mean everything you say is acceptable. Just because I am obedient and non-confrontational by nature doesn't mean what you do isn't demeaning. You don't know how lucky you are that I am relaxed and rational like they say I am; that I don't add more unnecessary drama to your life.
I know I still don't have the luxury to wallow. I still am deprived of the right to be angry. I don't even remember the last time I felt my eyes damp. But would you please, at least... give me time to breathe?
When the lives of the people around you contain enough drama to make a soap opera, there is no time to waste adding your own drama to the mix. I don't remember having a crying fit, banging a door or walking out because of anything. Others found it quite strange for me to be calm, sensible and ridiculously compliant when the rest of the teenage population was composed of either happy-go-lucky or excessively emo rebels.
You see, the most stubborn I can go was to make a disappointing decision.
I think there's nothing wrong with being anti-social. You don't accuse someone of being anti-social. It is a choice to avoid displaying unnecessary emotion and friendliness, just like it is a choice to be loud and outgoing. We are not less human and we don't necessarily have low self-esteem.
Isn't it convenient that I haven't said that to anybody's face yet? Just because I don't scream and lash out at anybody, doesn't mean everything you say is acceptable. Just because I am obedient and non-confrontational by nature doesn't mean what you do isn't demeaning. You don't know how lucky you are that I am relaxed and rational like they say I am; that I don't add more unnecessary drama to your life.
I know I still don't have the luxury to wallow. I still am deprived of the right to be angry. I don't even remember the last time I felt my eyes damp. But would you please, at least... give me time to breathe?
posted by esereth at 2:10:00 PM
6 Comments:
If you don't mind my asking, why do you say you're deprived of the right to be angry? I don't think anyone should be.
If it hurts, grin and bear it until you can. But the moment it gets unbearable, it would be best for both parties concerned to open up about it because it's just bound to get worse otherwise.
(Hindi din ako confrontational! As in tahimik lang about emotions etc. So you know that when I open up about something, it's time to listen. I'm guessing ganun ka din.)
I don't know what your situation is, but I'm talking generally here.
Kung mali pagkakaintindi ko, I give you, instead, a hug. *hugs* :)
Hug accepted with a smile. :) TY.
Well, if being angry hurts a lot of other people in the process, I don't have the right to be. I think that's part of what I mean. I also know it may get worse, but it is always up to me to not make it blow up. Because, well... they can never be wrong, hypothetically.
I think you understand what I mean to some level. Medyo pareho nga tayo dun sa aspetong yun. Hehe. Oooh, emo-emohan na naman.
I also think that it isn't wrong to be "anti-social". It's also our right to keep our emotions to ourselves so that's ok, especially when you know that what you feel can affect so many people.
Pareho tayo. I'm not confrontational too. But when it gets all too fucked up, that's the time that you should speak up.
Sometimes it helps to stay quiet, pero may times di na nga rin. Thanks. At least you guys know what I'm saying. :)
The reason why i use sarcasm~~
pang ilang post mo na to na galit ah.
Oo nga eh. Kung may kakabit lang na C4 lahat ng sinabi ko, dead na sila lahat. Hahaha.
Dude, I've always used sarcasm... unfortunately, other people, whose minds are as narrow as I couldn't possibly imagine, do not get it.
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