Noche Buena

There are few things in the world that get my attention these days, and the holidays, don’t attract me any more than they did when I was five.

I spent Christmas eve and the first few hours of Christmas day at work. So me and my colleagues were mocking ourselves by setting a stopwatch in the computer and counting down to the official start of Christmas day. As soon as the computer clocks struck 12, people began greeting each other ‘Merry Christmas’ in a manner like strangers greet ‘Peace be with you’ in church. Applause and cheers flooded the once quiet office. Some tears were shed for those who missed their families. I was laughing through the cheekiness of it all, but I thought it was amazing: Some people actually feel it that much.

My colleagues brought food and we stuffed ourselves with pasta, doughnuts, brownies and coffee. It was refreshing to share Noche Buena with people I don’t know and who don’t know me as well. Somehow, we were not kidding ourselves.

Merry Christmas.

Five Steps

Here are five steps to guaranteed public execution on grounds of extremely unusual interest and social behavior:

1. See a beetle, rejoice.

2. Try to kick it gently with shoe but allow beetle to stick itself on the sole.

3. Pick up beetle and play with it. Jokingly (for you, at least) scare the on-lookers, especially the squeamish women.

4. Warn all other species to avoid killing the said beetle, after a merciless few attempt spraying it with cigarette embers.

5. Let go of beetle and offer a simple explanation to the curious higher species as to why it hisses.

That's all there is to it. Wait for the vile jokes that come soon after, forcing you to spit out the genus and species of the said creature for an extended moment of shame.

The scientific name is Oryctes rhinoceros. Happy now? I'm not even a friggin' Bio major (so it's not surprising if I got it wrong). BOO.

Consume Ng Barbecue

Ultimately, there is only one real reason why this entry is restricted. It would destroy whatever respectable impression I have with people who don't know me well enough. You'll get what I mean after reading this:

Friday night. I was on leave for no valid reason whatsoever. Even though I came from Manila that morning, I still had time to nap and go to work... but I chose to take a leave. You can't blame me if I want to escape that Hellish Pit of Fatal Boredom even for just one day. Anyway, taking advantage of my leave, I watched the shows I missed on cable without realizing I dozed off on the couch. My brother took over the TV and ignored my journey to the abyssal dreamland.

A couple of hours into my sleep,

Me: Sino ba yung kasama ko dun sa exam?
Bro: Ano?

Me: Sino yung kasama ko dun sa exam?!
Bro: Well, bakit ako tinatanong mo? (while pulling the computer chair near me)

Me: Duh? Ikaw ang nakaupo dyan!
Bro: So?
Me: Ano ka ba, search mo sa laptop ko!

He kept quiet and continued surfing the net and watching a movie.

An hour later,

Me: ConsumeNgBarbecue.com.
Bro: Ano?!

Me: Consume-ng-barbecue-dot-com.
Bro: Consuming barbecue? (types away in the lappie)

Me: Consume NG!
Bro: Consuming?!
Me: NG! Consume NG! Tsk! (appeared irritated according to bro)

Bro: Gising ka ba o nananaginip lang?
Me: Ano ba, gising ako!

Again, silence. My brother began making mental notes about the conversation and tried not to burst in laughter. Meanwhile, my parents claimed to have heard us talking (slightly arguing) around midnight. So I guess my brother wasn't fooling me... it really happened.

How can you be sleeptalking and be conceited at the same time? I don't know, just ask me when I'm asleep.

Manila-ed

For the first time since what felt like 20 years ago, I came home. And Home meant the deadly air pollution + P.Gil pirates + glorious Oble in the UPm garden + Rob + sosyal Midtown + wasted and tortured students + icky hospital sidewalk sludge + a lot more indescribable Manila things. How poetic though, of all times I could have visited, I came when Taft Ave. was semi-flooded and when UPm caught FIRE!

Anyways, I had lunch with Faye, Daal, Mame and Gran in the most upscale fast food we could afford (Kenny Rogers, harhar). The conversation was mostly about: first, our insistence to be refunded with the mistake of a KR staff, then underemployed-ness, get-together plans, my attempt at baking (Big Fail), Mikki's Palawan escapade and our theories of arson and how it could be done spectacularly, LOL.

Also, I got my pasalubong from Palawan:

MV Something (couldn't find a name for it). Thanks Mikki!

 

My S630 came back from the Windy City as well, totally beyond legal warranty-covered repair, but possibly worth saving by our native sidewalk gadget experts. But then my cousin was trying to be the best kind of cousin in the world so she got me this to make up for the cheapness of that thing:

That's the actual color as well (credits to The Tech Brief). Cuteness. Thanks to cuz and to the great friend who offered a great discount. My S630 will be as good as new when I have budget for it and will be available to whoever wants to buy. :) (After ranting about it here, I don't think anyone would.)