Honestly

Yung totoo, mukha na ba akong tinutubuan ng pera sa ilong?

Matingkad bang Lacoste ang mga damit ko at Balenciaga ang dala kong bag? Wtf, di pa nga ako nakakakita ng Balenciaga sa totoong buhay.

Mukha bang pinapacheck ko ang skin ko sa dermatologist? Girl, Pond's lang yan.

Sa tingin mo ba magTatagalog ako kung hindi ako seryoso? I meant it when I said this before, and I mean this even more now.

Just because I'm single doesn't mean I spend all my money on gadgets and fancy clothes. Well, I don't have a PSP even when I can. I have responsibilities and a lot of it involves a future that I can't even assure that I can get to. So don't come to me for money like I'm your ATM card. Do you even care that you haven't paid me a single peso for the loan that I so gladly granted you months ago?

You're nice and smart. I'm sure you have fifty more friends to ask help from. You should know better than to ask me, especially when you still owe me roughly the same amount of money that you're asking for now. I understand your situation though, and I won't question your reasons and the crisis you are facing at present.

Do it with style. I mean, don't pester me every two weeks as if I'm obligated to help you. Like I told you yesterday, if I can, I really would. I won't even ask you to pay me. But I have my thing, like you have yours. Maraming paraan, di madaling hanapin pero may iba pa bukod sa akin.


Don't worry, I'll get something for the kid as soon as I can manage my M&S shirts, Balenciaga bags and my stupid Blackberry. Somebody stop me. :P

M & P

As mundane and sinful as this may sound, there are only 2 things that matter in this underground escapade: money and pride.

The first one is relatively easy to gain because like they always say: underworked, overpaid. In my case, it's more like: irritatingly underemployed, but blissfully overpaid.

Pride, however, is a whole different story. The pit is a place where humans are made to act like robots and machines are forced to think like humans. For a few hours, regular people who happen to have a worldful of self-respect are compelled to surrender their rights to a hierarchy that creates their delusional sense of superiority and pride.

Putanginang motivation yan. I CAN work without it, as I have done so in the past. I have pushed myself harder and further before, but my pride has never been compromised to a degree that I did not deserve. Even though I already knew that this time, I would have to compromise more; I still expected the least. I only expected freakin' affirmation. ONLY affirmation... for the fact that even though I fail to be pliable to authority and socially exciting to my equals, I have proved that I can rise beyond what is required. I heard none, not even a passing remark; because as usual, in this crappy adult high school world: cool people always win.

Insanity

I don't know 'cause I'm not a doctor, but isn't it when they diagnose you for mental disorder they ask if you've felt or experienced anything unusual? They'd backtrack towards events in your life or previous actions that might prove your sanity or otherwise.

Okay, so let's backtrack...


*** AFTER OVERTIME***
After another crazy day at work without sleep, I accompanied my mom to the hospital for some routine lab tests; then we went grocery shopping. I usually don't stare at other people but a certain girl caught my attention. She was confidently walking with her boyfriend inside the air-conditioned mall while wearing a) an orange bra, b) overlaid with a sheer white blouse, c) skinny jeans, d) a red scarf and e) dark shades. I was stifling giggles so much that my mother wanted to hit me. Hehe.

Sorry, I don't intend to be mean... but girl, ano ba? Don't contradict yourself! I don't know if the ensemble was meant to be for summer or winter. It's okay to wear a two-piece suit with a translucent cover-up on the beach but in the mall? And fine, for the sake of fashion, it's okay that Pinoys wear scarves despite the equatorial weather, but not with exposed bright-colored brassieres. Maybe it's just me; but forgive me for this one, I had a bursting laugh anyway.


***BEFORE OVERTIME***
Everyday I get a lot of jokes about so many different things. Some are worth a little smile but most of them have been quite irritating. But behold, here's one joke that actually made me laugh for a good minute:

     Two atoms are walking down the sidewalk,
     Atom 1: “Wait! Stop! I think I lost an electron!"
     Atom 2: “Are you sure?”
     Atom 1: “Yeah, I’m positive!”

Corny, hehe. But I laughed! Maybe I just missed chem (eh?). Ironically, later that day I was teaching a kid about redox reactions. LOL


***SOMETIME MID-DAY***
Girl: Anna, question. What do you call that middle groove below the nostrils and above the upper lip?
Me: Ah, that one. It starts with PH. Wait... (2 seconds) ... ah, it's PHALLUS.

Girl: Oh, actually sounds familiar. Thanks. *she begins looking it up at Google to look for a technical definition*
Me: (Teka, why does it sound weird? Sexual. Shet!)  Wait!

Girl: Huh?
Me: It's PHILTRUM. Phallus is... erm, look it up on Wikipedia.

:)

Stupid.

No one's born dumb.

But stupid? Maybe.

... Like people who don't even think about how they bother other people's work just so they can do theirs flawlessly without even a shred of effort.

To my friends who can read this entry, have you ever seen me get mad? If not, read and enjoy. :)

-000-

Because I believe in preserving your dignity and I think no one deserves to be degraded in front of others, I haven't said anything to embarass you and I haven't told them yet about the stupidity I've witnessed. Your name's not even here and these people don't even know you. Dito na lang, at least di ka nila kilala. I get the chance to bash you without anyone else getting hurt.

You were employed in a company that speaks English as a policy so would you please learn to speak in freakin' English?! Have you even noticed how we answer you in a different language everytime you ask a stupid question? Did you even notice how we were hoping you'd follow suit? I guess not then. And I know you're wondering why I've shared more small talks with your American guy than you two actually had. Use the language and maybe you won't be so left out. Stop thinking you can get away with anything because you look innocent and pretty. Other people are investing their efforts and mental energy on something that you'd just breeze through because your talented colleagues just happened to be kind enough to make things easier for you.

You think you know how it works. You think because they call me anytime to ask for help, you can do the same and abuse me? They ask me for second opinions and that's only because they believe I know better at some things. They ask about grammar -something that even I get confused with sometimes- and factual tidbits that they assume I would happen to know. But you... you ask me to think for you! Get your neurons working, girl. Read, think, understand! Before you complain about things being so hard, have you ever thought maybe that's because they're meant to be hard and meant to require this basic action called THINKING?

Tangina, mag-isip ka naman! (I don't usually curse, but forgive me just this once.)

I help them because they ask nicely. And besides, they offer me the same help when I'm the one who needs it. They're even that nice to treat me to lunch even though it's not necessary. It's called teamwork. They see the problem, think and try to work it out... and then say "Anna, can you help me with this?" And then say thank you or promise a treat in return. Do you even realize what you do? You see the problem, scratch your head, complain about how difficult it looks and say, "Anna, tulungan mo nga ko dito! Ang hirap naman kasi!"

I don't even know why I still come running to help you even though you sound like you're ordering me and not asking me. I even abandon my job to help you first because it takes a lot of dictating and explaining for you to understand what needs to be done. When everyone else has left because they're tired of you're doing your job for you, I stay and endure the whole process. I do that even when you keep a weird gaze at me when I browse news, trivia sites or stuff about stem cells and odd magazine articles. Hija, it's called READING. I'm not like the rest of 'em who answer love quizzes in their free time. They already made sure I get that I'm weird so I'm used to the stares. But you're much worse then them. You have the guts to interrupt my reading and force me to do the same nonsense so you'll be entertained. Are you serious?

Normal people don't tolerate that kind of parasitic behaviour. It so happened that I'm not as normal so you're lucky I tolerate you. You get that, right? You're not dumb... even though you don't know what dumb means (I'm not exaggerating, the poor girl really doesn't know). You just need to stop being lazy and let the brain you're born with get some well-needed workout.

It's okay to ask me. Just think first before you do. And try to do your job by yourself, at least once. See how it feels. Maybe then you'll understand the expressions we all have when we read our payslips. While you're at it, try understanding the computation of your salary too. Oh, and maybe next time I can teach you about stem cells and stuff so you'll impress them with your looks AND wit.

And yes, when my blood returns to its normal temperature, I'll still help you. Don't worry, I won't call you stupid out there. I had to do it here so no one else would have to hear it.

-000-

Hay, salamat at may Multiply restricted access. Gusto ko pa magmura, pero tama na ang isa. I want to believe I'm still kind enough to have vented it out this way than in any other manner.

Why Do You Ask... WHY?

"Boyfriend?"
> "None."

"Had boyfriends??"
> "No."

"Since birth???" (Notice how the ?s increase.)
> "Yes."

"Owwws????"
> "You don't believe me?"

"Why?????"
> "Well, why do I need a reason?"

This is probably one of the lamest posts I'd ever put in this blog but what the heck, when you're fed up, somethin's just gotta give. Different instances of conversation around a span of a week with different people has triggered a phenomenon called being fed up.

Tell me, my favorite people in the world, do I need a reason to be single? Is WHY that big of a deal? After frequent conversations similar to the one above, guys usually stare at me for a good 5 mins or so, girls gasp in amazement and gays push through with the seemingly endless interrogating. And puhleeease, I am not easy (so don't give me that look)... or gay (especially not THAT look)... or naive.

I don't usually mind being asked, but I DO mind having to explain. My sis said that maybe it's because our kind is becoming an endangered species. Now that's a funny way to put it. :P

So thank you. For not asking me. And for not being stupidly interested in a non-existent explanation. :)

Hiro... tasukete?

What happens when a single, indivisible organism such as yourself attempts to do every kind of shit they tell you?

Get a job, any job. Learn to drive. Live abroad. Meet a guy. Take the tests. Get that professional license. Learn to cook. Lose the extra ten pounds. Be a freakin' biochemist or whatever it is you call yourself. Have a social life. Wear decent clothes. Act like a girl. Try to smile.

What happens? You just, well... explode.

Remember Peter Petrelli from Heroes? He was the empath -the one who could absorb and mimic their abilities. Remember what they said would happen if he carried too much powers?

So tell me, Hiro, how do you stop an exploding man?

Sorry for the Inconvenience. Right.

I'm terribly busy but I'm posting this entry as a protest to bad automated system and customer service. I am very calm by nature and don't usually grump about people or companies unless the situation absolutely calls for it.

But today, I've simply had enough of Globe's system delays and constant glitches.

Here's what happened:
It's my first time using their Share-A-Load service on my few months-old Globe sim; and I know for a fact that there's a short registration procedure in using the system. So I sent 5 pesos to my mom's number only so that I can get the confirmation message which includes the mechanics for registration of Share-A-Load. After a few messages saying my request cannot be accommodated and an hour's delay, the P5 I sent was received, and I finally obtained the mechanics for registration. Obviously I'm not dumb or blind, so I read AND understood the registration procedure. I did the thing in a breeze, and again, after so much delay, I received the message confirming my registration. And by the way, with that I also got a second message confirming the P5 I sent to my mom... which means, because I tried sending it so many times, two transactions were recorded in their system and processed, only because they always CANNOT accommodate the request. How's that? So anyway, after that I tried sharing P100 to my brother, using the four-character PIN I registered with. The return message from Globe said that I entered the wrong PIN and that I should send GET <mother's maiden name> to retrieve it. So even though I was  wondering why that happened, I again followed the instruction and expected to get my PIN. And yet again, after such a long time, I received something saying that I entered the wrong mother's maiden name. How can I be wrong about my mother's maiden name?! I assumed (because I couldn't find any other explanation) that it was probably a glitch. So I sent the Share-A-Load request to my brother repeatedly, like I always do when weird stuff happens like in frequently palpak UnliTxt or Sulitxt requests. And then magically, WITHOUT THE USUAL DELAY, I received the service message saying that my Share-A-Load capability was blocked due to sending the wrong PIN three times! And it said to call 215 for my concerns, etc. After mutterring a few WTFs, I decided to call this 215 and got hold of a poor call center agent. I was ranting non-stop on the phone but then my kinder alter-ego actually wanted to be more considerate to this agent who's not actually the one at fault. Just when I had given my name and number and calmed down a bit, the line went dead. With my patience reaching the critical limit, I called again and got connected to the program playing music while waiting for an agent to pick up. I heard the line pick up but there was only dead air. So for the friggin' third time, I called and fortunately got connected to a new male agent (the first one's female). He told me the same stuff the girl told me before we got cut off and asked for my name and number again, but then also asked for my sim serial number which I cannot fetch due to my location (duh). He explained that I have to call again when I get the serial so they could verify it before they can even activate my Share-A-Load capability. And after a thousand apologies from him and some standard closing spiels, I got nothing.

All the hassle for nothing. In the first place, if the system was reliable enough I wouldn't have resorted to calling Customer Service and the guy wouldn't have to keep saying he's sorry for the inconvenience he didn't actually cause. There are a lot more complaints on several forums on the net when I checked, especially on the Globe Rewards and the UnliTxt service. Besides, I've had enough calling them again and again to ask about mysteriously disappearing phone credits; or the strange load-devouring tendency of my brother's previous roaming service.

I'm not saying we boycott Globe or anything. I'm also not saying we call them up and yell on all of their customer service reps... I'm just ranting.

He kept saying "Ma'am, sorry for the inconvenience". It's his job. I can only imagine him trying to handle the other irate, less understanding customers because they had the same or worse problems that I had with the company's services.

Considering they're a major service provider, probably abound with experts in the telecom and sales industry, I wonder what they could be doing wrong.

OMG. Creepy stalker guys on Fictionpress?!

So I thought stalkers could only go as far as Friendster or other networking sites when it comes to online stalking. So I was wrong.

I opened my mail a few minutes ago and found a private message from another Fictionpress user, which was kind of normal especially when I post a new chapter or story. I became used to critics asking a few story-related questions over PMs or having other users send me good reviews in private aside from the publicly viewable comments. But then the PM I got today sent me to freak-out-turned-laugh-trip mode. Here's what the message contained... let's save the guy some dignity so I edited out some stuff and removed his name.

"Kamusta naman? ngayong araw ko lang nabasa itong mga kwento mo. naaliw ako sa mga kwento mo lalu na yung "Stalker" kasi nakakarelate ako. inspired ba yun nang life story mo? pede ko bang malaman full name, age, location mo? wag kamagalala hindi ako bading. i also write stories but i rarely upload busy kasi lagi at tamad akong magtype kaya nakatambak lang yung mga stories and poems ko dito sa bahay namin. ako nga pala si [full name here] aka [username here]. 18yrs old pa lang ako at next year pa ako mag 19. tiga Quezon city ako. hehe. sige sana sagutin mo itong message ko sayo."

What actually bothered me is how feeling close the message appeared. I'm used to getting PMs from my literary buddies from FP, of all nationalities including other Pinoys, but it was the first time I received something as weird as this. I don't know if he actually realizes the boundaries between the online world and the real one. Full name, age and location? Duh.

A brief background. I wrote the Filipino short story he mentioned entitled 'Stalker' just for fun and published it in FP. (Summary: He knows her full name. He knows about her friends and family. He remembers her childhood, adolescence and early adulthood. He could probably draw her face with his eyes closed. He knows what she likes and what she doesn't. He waits for her and follows her everyday. Stalker? Nah.)

So naka-relate sya sa Stalker story ko? That's creepy. But FYI, it was NOT in any way, inspired by any life experience. As I said, sometimes I think of plots just for fun.

Actually, di talaga ako sanay sa mga PMs na ganito... just in case I would be the only one who finds this weird. Haha. So right now, I'm thinking of a proper reply to this guy. Hmmm.